Sunday evening. I’m sitting with Reason at Natalie’s Coffee, enjoying the biscotti and Cappuccino. Of course she had some wisdom to impart on me, so here’s how it went.
Pierre, I’ve known you for a long time. And one thing that I know well is your uncanny ability to suppress or hide from your emotions. You’ve gotten much better over the years, as one that grows in life and as an individual should.
Well, thanks! Can you make me any more self-conscious and vulnerable here? Hey, I’m glad I haven’t turned out a complete emotional wreck. I suppose if I hadn’t met you some 3 odd years ago, I’d be a big ball of play-doh, malleable to the conditions and circumstances of the day.
I’m trying to be serious here Pierre.
So am I. Look, you taught me the important lesson of being simply ‘aware’ of what emotions I was feeling, so I could get in better touch with them. And secondly, that all feelings and emotions were impermanent – both the good and unpleasant. Understanding that made me not dwell on what I may have been feeling at any given moment, but simply carry on.
That’s right. Nobody has any control or responsibility for their emotions – they just happen. The only important thing is how you react to them. And with that said, allow me to cut to the chase: You’re not responding as well as you could be. Even though you’re more aware of what you’re feeling, it upsets me to see a ‘fight or flight’ reaction sometimes with you. I understand humans can’t be perfect, and I’m not asking you to be.
Well, Arbiter of Enlightenment, why don’t you tell me what to do. Do my perceptual glasses need some cleaning at the local LensCrafters?
Accept the presence of Fear. Don’t try and fight it because doing so will only exacerbate the situation and prolong taking action. In fact, if you act in the absence of Fear, it’s very likely that you will not grow stronger because the atmosphere is too safe and secure.
Do you get my drift here? Fear will manifest in new forms after you’ve made progress and accomplishments – that’s just the way it is. The quicker you learn to accept and cope with Fear, the better off you’ll be.
I soooo want to be sarcastic with you right now, but I’m at a loss of words because…what you’re saying makes a lot of sense. It’s not inspiring like a professional coach pepping me up before the big game. But actually it’s better because it’s a lot more realistic way of looking at it.
Well, I’m glad it made some sense with you. I care a lot about you, and I hate to see confusion in your eyes, or stagnancy in your life because of a misunderstanding of your relationship with a natural emotion.
We left the cafe and promised to keep in touch before going our ways. I admit she really hit a nail this time, as if she looked at my map and destination and gave me a compelling reason to avoid the detours. Some of my fears will be rational, others won’t. Nonetheless, they’re here for my benefit, and that’s an uplifting attitude worth keeping…and sharing.
